Family Against Family
by Pissed Off Poet1
Summary: The Admiral has a choice to make, but either way he looses someone close to him. FINISHED!
1. The Choice To Be Made

(Standard disclaimers: I don't own JAG, this is just for fun. I hope you all enjoy. Don't worry, this will get more interesting.)  
  
Fade in. The Admiral was in a really good mood this week, witch made everyone in the office very happy. Well as about as happy as we could be; considering. Bud had returned to the states yesterday, and started rehab. His injury came as a shock to us all, and no one knew what to say to him. He seems so bitter and distant towards us all, that we just can't talk to him anymore. The Admiral is fighting tooth and nail to keep him on staff, if he chooses to stay, but he can't seem to make up his mind. Harriet has been the strong one for both of them, and has been working none stop, both at work and around the house to pay the bills. We all helped with the move, but didn't see much of Bud. His whole attitude seemed to be affecting Harriet the worst. My thoughts were broken by the knocking at my door.  
  
"Enter."  
  
(Tiner poked his head in my door.)  
  
"Sir the Admiral would like to see you ASAP."  
  
"Thanks Tiner."  
  
When I got to the Admirals office, he seemed visibly upset. I stood at attention while he just stared out of the window. I was about to say something when he told me to sit down. When he finally sat down at his desk, he seemed paler then before, and I started to fear the worst. Was it Bud? Had something else happened to him? As far as I knew Sturgis and Mac were still in court.  
  
"How is it going on the Trent case?"  
  
I stared at him a minute, not sure if this look had anything to do with the espionage case I was prosecuting. Marcus Trent was caught selling information to the Russians; witch was used to help the Taliban.  
  
"Good sir. He gave us the names of the buyers, and the head of the FBI has allowed me to join the raid.  
  
"And just when were you going to ask my permission to go?"  
  
He caught me off guard with tone he used.  
  
"Well sir, with your permission I would like to help bring these people down."  
  
"I talked to the head of the FBI this morning, and he did explain your interest in this case, and has even invited me to join. So I guess we are both going."  
  
It surprised me that he wasn't going to chew me out for not telling me first, but with the mood he was in, I guess it is warranted.  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"Dismissed."  
  
"Sir-"  
  
"I said dismissed, Commander!"  
  
"Aye, aye sir!"  
  
I snapped to, and halled ass out of his office. Once I was in the safety of my own office, I let out the breath, I had been holding in. I tried to concentrate on my paper work, but something about the way the Admiral was acting was nagging at me. I never even heard Mac come in.  
  
"Don't stay that way to long; you'll get stuck in that position."  
  
I turned to face her as she sat down.  
  
"What's with the look Harm?"  
  
"The Admiral."  
  
"Ah, in the Admirals dog house again, huh?"  
  
"No, it's not that. Something in the way he was acting is rubbing me the wrong way."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Something is wrong, but I just can't figure out what."  
  
Meanwhile in the Admirals office.  
  
Tiner buzzed in from his desk, and made the Admiral jump.  
  
"What is it Tiner?"  
  
"Sir there is a call from you from a Mr. Hicks. He said it was urgent."  
  
"Put it through." He said trying to keep his voice. He hesitated picking the phone up, but he knew he had to.  
  
"Where is my daughter Hicks?"  
  
"Ah, I see you got that phone call from her last night. But shouldn't you be asking me what I want?"  
  
The Admiral sighed. "What do you want?"  
  
"Well you see, Marcus Trent is an old friend of mine, and I know your people are going to help bring his operation down tonight. There will be a lot of shooting, and I want you to kill Rabb for me. Do that and you daughter goes free."  
  
"No!"  
  
"Who is more important Admiral; Rabb or your daughter?"  
  
The Admiral hesitated.  
  
"The clock is ticking Admiral.I need an answer now."  
  
TBC  
  
(Don't ya just hate it when I leave you all hanging like that? The next chapter will be out soon. Please review.) 


	2. Promise Me

(Standard disclaimers, (Don't ya just hate these?) I do not own JAG or any of the songs that I might use in this chapter.)  
  
Fade in.  
  
(Back in Harm's office.)  
  
"Just promise me something Harm."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Just promise me that you'll be careful."  
  
"I'm always careful Mac."  
  
"Promise me that you'll wear a vest."  
  
"Mac, we are just going in there to arrest a few guys. Intelligence says they most likely won't be armed."  
  
"And it could be that 'most likely' that could get you killed."  
  
"Mac."  
  
Before Harm could say anything, Tiner knocked on the door.  
  
"Excuse me sir, ma'am. Ma'am there is a call for you."  
  
"Thanks Tiner."  
  
After Tiner shut the door, Mac gave Harm a long look.  
  
"When are you going?"  
  
"Tonight."  
  
"Call me when you get home, so I know you're okay."  
  
"Yes mom."  
  
"I mean it Harm."  
  
I stood in front of Mac, and put my arms on her shoulder.  
  
"Everything is going to be fine. The Admiral wouldn't have sent me, if he knew there would be something I couldn't handle. Besides, he is going with me. You know he'll watch my six."  
  
"Yeah, I know."  
  
"I'll call you latter, I promise."  
  
"Good luck Harm."  
  
And with that she left. Not knowing that could be the last time she might see him alive again.  
  
(A/N: I know it was short, but don't worry; I'll get to the raid in the next few chapters. I thought this conversation was an important Harm and Mac moment.)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
TBC.  
  
(I know; I'm evil right? Don't worry, I'll update soonest. Please review!) 


	3. A Shot In The Dark

(A/N: Sorry for the major delay, and just to warn you the next few chapters might be kinda short, but real interesting. Standard disclaimers: I do not own JAG, this is only for fun. Please read and review. Anyone have any idea how to spell the Admiral's daughter's name?)  
  
  
  
Fade in..  
  
The Admiral paced his office, knowing the full weight of the decision that he just made. He had told Hicks that he would do it. He would kill his senior officer. He knew he should tell Harm, and maybe they could work something out that could save both him, and his daughter. But he knew Hicks had eyes everywhere. He wouldn't ever do anything to jeopardize the safety of his daughter. He had made that clear to Harm, the first time his daughter was kidnapped. He sat down and put his head in his hands. Harm was like a son to him, he couldn't kill him. Even though sometimes he felt it was warranted, with some of the stunts he had pulled.but never the less, if he did, Harm's family, not to mention everyone in this office would be devastated. And Mac.he knew those to were close, he couldn't stand to watch what it would do to Mac. He checked his watch again, and sighed. It was only four more hours till they would take down the operation, and for the first time in a long time, the Admiral didn't know what to do.  
  
Fade in.  
  
Abandon warehouse, site of stolen weapons  
  
The group of men dressed in black scattered as they entered the building. They knew that there were up to thirty armed men in here and they thought it best to spread out. The Admiral followed Harm closely, still not knowing what to do. They entered a small room and took down the two men, killing them before they hit the ground.  
  
"Should we head to the roof, Admiral?"  
  
The Admiral didn't answer, just stared at Harm.  
  
"Are you okay sir?"  
  
The Admiral raised his gun and pointed it at Harm.  
  
"What are you doing sir?" Harm asked, sounding nervous. He put both hands up and took a step back, "Admiral?"  
  
"I hope you can forgive me Harm, but this is something I have to do." And with that said, the Admiral shot Harm, and turned around and left. He couldn't stand to watch as the pool of blood formed around Harm's head.  
  
TBC  
  
(A/N: I know.I know.you can stop throwing things now. Don't worry, all will turn out well.for some.) 


	4. Aftermath

(A/N: Come on people, I am a shipper. Do you ever think I would let anything happen to those to? I thought not. Standard disclaimer: Same as in last chap. I encourage everyone to read my other stories, they are good, and do have a happy ending. Please review.)  
  
Fade in.  
  
The Admiral walked to the roof, and sank to his knees. What had he done? He had just killed his best officer.his friend. He moved to a corner, and sat behind the storage area, and waited. Soon someone would find him and asked him what had happened. Everyone had seen both of them go in together, and figured that an ex seal and an aviator would be okay. What would he tell them?  
  
Within minutes he had heard an ambulance pull up. He knew that they had found Harm, and were probably taking him to the hospital. But deep in his gut, the Admiral knew that a bullet to the chest wasn't something a lot of people bounced back from. Thirty minutes after the ambulance had pulled away, the Admiral headed back to the front entrance where the FBI agents were talking.  
  
"Admiral Chegwidden! Where were you?" Agent Davis asked.  
  
"I thought I heard someone on the roof," he replied.  
  
"We just took your officer to the hospital. He was shot.wait weren't you with him?"  
  
The Admiral hesitated, not knowing what to say.  
  
"How long were you on the roof?" Another agent asked.  
  
"Awhile; is he okay?"  
  
"It looks pretty bad. I heard the shooting, and when I got there Rabb was down, and a sniper was trying to escape out of the window. My guess is that the sniper got him."  
  
The Admiral swallowed the lump in his throat. He had been cleared, but he knew it was him that killed Harm.  
  
"Do you need a ride to the hospital Admiral?" Agent Davis asked.  
  
"No, no. I'm on my way."  
  
But he wasn't on his way to the hospital. He couldn't stand to be there to hear the news. After a few hours of driving, the Admiral finally drove to the hospital.  
  
"I'm looking for information on Harmon Rabb."  
  
"Are you family?" The nurse asked.  
  
"I'm his boss."  
  
The nurse looked around, and called over a doctor. A middle aged man walked over to AJ, and told them they should talk someplace privet.  
  
"Admiral, when Mr. Rabb came in, his condition was very bad, and despite our best efforts.we were unable to save him."  
  
AJ sat there not knowing what to say. The doctor asked him something, but AJ didn't hear. He had killed Harm. Just to save his daughter, he had killed Harm.  
  
After what seemed like forever sitting on the hard chair. The Admiral knew what he had to do. It was time to call Harm's mother.and time to tell Mac.  
  
(A/N: I hope you all notice all of the subtle hints that I am dropping. Please review. The next chapter will be out soon.) 


	5. Broken Promises

(A/N: These "very subtle hints" that I have been dropping I can no long comment on because that would give everything away. But just a hint, go back to a shot in the dark and reread the part where the Admiral shot Harm where did he shoot him, and where did the blood come from? And I can assure all readers that this is not a dream. Standard disclaimer: Same as in first chapter.)  
  
Fade in.  
  
Back in the office, Sturgis and Mac noticed that the Admiral walked in without Harm. They followed him, intending to talk to him, but the slam of his office door told them otherwise. A few minutes latter, along with Harriet, both of them were called into his office.  
  
"Sir, where is Commander Rabb?" Harriet finally asked.  
  
When the Admiral didn't answer, Mac looked over at Sturgis who nodded. Something wasn't right.  
  
"Sit down," he ordered, taking his own seat.  
  
After a long silence, and the strange looks he was getting from his officers, he finally began.  
  
"When Harm and I went to the warehouse-"  
  
"Oh God, he's dead," Mac put her hand up to her mouth and stared at the Admiral.  
  
Sturgis looked from the Admiral to Mac, not waiting to believe it. "Sir?"  
  
"But he can't be dead he said he would help me-" Harriet tried but couldn't get the rest of the words out of her mouth.  
  
"He was shot.the doctors tried everything they could, but they couldn't save him."  
  
Ignoring protocol, Mac got up and left without so much a word. Sturgis and Harriet looked desperately at the Admiral, hoping he was wrong. But the look on his face didn't lie.  
  
"Dismissed; I have to call Harm's mother, and then make an announcement to the staff."  
  
Fade out.  
  
Sturgis and Harriet lightly tapped on Mac's door before stepping in, and closing the door behind them. Mac was facing the window, staring out into nothing.  
  
"I made him promise me," she said just barely above a whisper.  
  
"Promise you what?" Sturgis asked.  
  
"I made him promise me that he would wear a vest. He promised, and Harm never makes a promise he doesn't intend to keep."  
  
"He didn't know ma'am. How could he?"  
  
Mac shook her head, and kept on staring out the window. "Could you guys give me a minute? I just want to be alone."  
  
Both hesitated, but finally Sturgis touched Harriet's arm, indicating that they should give her some space.  
  
By the time they got into the bullpen, they caught their college's faces, after the Admiral told them the news. It was a look that tore at Harriet's soul. She still had to tell Bud, and had to find someway to tell her son that he would never get to see his Godfather again.  
  
Back in Mac's office, Mac was still staring out the window with silent tears rolling down her face. Harriet was right; he had no way of knowing that something would go wrong. But she knew Harm. Harm always kept his promises. Something just wasn't right.  
  
Fade out.  
  
Back in AJ's office, he was pacing yet again, waiting for Hicks to call. Finally when Tiner announced the call, the Admiral jumped to pick it up.  
  
"Where is my daughter Hicks?"  
  
"Nice to hear from you to Admiral; isn't it a great day?"  
  
"Where is she Hicks?"  
  
"You know, they told me on the news that Rabb died, and I must say, it must have took some guts to kill your senior officer for your daughter's life. But your daughter is a very pretty and attractive, and I think I'll hang on to her for a little while longer. I'll contact you again, when I want something," and with that he hung up.  
  
The Admiral slammed the phone down hard and banged on his desk. This was getting out of hand. Something had to be done now.  
  
TBC  
  
(A/N: Oh come on guys, somebody has to be getting this! and if you to please e mail me this instead of posting it on my reviews. We want to keep the other people in suspense, now don't we?) 


	6. Now it all comes out

(A/N: Okay I know, what is going on? Don't worry, if you have been sticking to the story, this chapter will make a whole lot of sense. Standard disclaimers: Same as in last chapter.)  
  
Fade in.  
  
(This takes place the day after the call)  
  
The Admiral once again was pacing the confines of his office. He was pretty sure he was wearing a hole in the carpet, but that didn't matter. What did matter that he had called a meeting in his office this morning. Harm's parents were going to be there a long with Mac, Sturgis, Bobbie, Harriet, the SECNAV, and he even called Webb in on this one. (A/N: You know where I'm going with this now right?) AJ knew that maybe with Webb's help he could track down Hicks. But right now he had to think of someway to tell everyone that he had killed Harm. He knew he would lose his career, the respect of his friends, and everything he valued most. But his daughter came first. Hell even Rabb knew that, from the last time she was kidnapped.  
  
As soon as Harm's mother and stepfather arrived, he couldn't bear to look at the sadness that their faces held. He offered his condolences, and asked them to sit down.  
  
"Admiral, you were with Harm, what happened?" Trish asked with a slight tremor in her voice.  
  
"I would like to wait until the SECNAV and my other officers are here. Then I can explain it to everyone at once," he said; wanting to delay the inevitable as long as possible.  
  
Twenty minutes latter everyone was assembled in the Admiral's office with the notable exception of Webb. Not wanting to wait any longer, he started.  
  
"I know all of you are wondering why I called you in here, and wondering what happened that day in the warehouse. So I guess I had better start at the beginning."  
  
Looking around with understanding glances from everyone, he continued. "It all started a few days ago in my office. I was in a good mood because my daughter had just gotten in town. We were going to spend a few days together, while she was here on business. "But the day we were supposed to meet, I got a call telling me that she was kidnapped, and that the man wouldn't give her back unless he got something in return."  
  
"What?" Everyone looked in shock at the Admiral.  
  
"When was this?" the SECNAV demanded.  
  
"It was the day before Harm and I went with the RECON team."  
  
"And why wasn't I informed about this?"  
  
"Sir, he said that if I told anyone, then he would kill her. I didn't want to take that chance."  
  
"Do you know who it is sir?" Mac asked with deep concern in her voice.  
  
"Yes, I do. He told me his name was Hicks. It didn't take me long to link him with the case that Harm was working on."  
  
"What does he want, sir?" Sturgis asked. AJ knew that Sturgis would help him even though he didn't even know his daughter.  
  
"He wanted me to kill Harm, when we raided the warehouse."  
  
"He wanted you to what?" Bobbie asked.  
  
He looked up to the noticeable stares he was getting. Harm's mother went pale, and grabbed her husband's hand.  
  
"But the report read that the sniper shot Harm. Sir, tell me you didn't-" Mac put her hand to her mouth and sat down.  
  
"Sir?" Harriet asked unsure of what to say or believe.  
  
"Did you kill him AJ?" the SECNAV asked, not wanting to believe what he just asked.  
  
"I did," AJ whispered, receiving gasps from everyone in the room. "I had no choice, he has my daughter."  
  
"You killed my son?" Trish whispered.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
AJ glanced at Sturgis who still hadn't said anything. His face was pale, and his gaze fixed at some point beyond the Admiral.  
  
"And what is your explanation for this?" the SECNAV demanded.  
  
"I don't have one."  
  
"You know you'll have to be brought up on charges."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Hell AJ, you just ended your career! What in the hell were you thinking?"  
  
The Admiral didn't answer; just put his head in his hands. "Mac-" he said, but she cut him off.  
  
"Don't sir. Please just don't." Her voice was breaking, and AJ knew she was having a hard time keeping herself together.  
  
"Admiral, I'm sorry but I have to relieve you from-"  
  
The sound of the door opening, made the SECNAV stop and turn his head.  
  
"What did I miss?" All heads jerked to the sound of that all too familiar voice. There standing with Webb and the Admiral's daughter, was Harm.  
  
TBC  
  
(A/N: Okay, I know, I know, I am evil for leaving you hanging this way. Still trying to figure out how I pulled this off? If you think you know, please e-mail me. I'll post who had the closest guess when I post my next chapter.) 


	7. Explain this to me

(A/N: Congrats to Anne, Shannon, and Lynne for all who got the closest guess to what had transpired. Congrats and thanks to all of those I missed. I am really sorry to the one person who really did get it, but I lost your e mail. Standard Disclaimer: Same as in last chapter. Please enjoy, and e mail me if this makes no sense whatsoever.)  
  
Fade in  
  
(Five minutes earlier out in the bull pen.)  
  
Harm, Webb, and AJ's daughter, walked briskly to AJ's office ignoring the stares they that Harm was getting from co- workers.  
  
"Looks like they are glad to see you're back, Rabb."  
  
"Knock it off Webb, you know as well as I do why they are staring. It's not everyday someone rises from the dead," Harm couldn't help but saying.  
  
"Sir?" Lieutenant Singer said, catching up to the three. "How- "  
  
"Let me put it this way Lieutenant, you can't get rid of me that easily." He said, walking faster.  
  
Fade out.  
  
(The Admiral's Office; where I left off in the last chapter.)  
  
"Harm? Is that really you man?" Sturgis asked leading the group of people over to where the three were standing.  
  
As the Admiral's daughter ran over to him, Harm snapped to attention. "Sorry we are late sir, traffic was a nightmare." (A/N: Sorry, I just had to throw that line in. I would write that the Admiral called out his daughter's name, and she ran and hugged him, but since I don't know how to spell her name, I can't. So just pretend I did.)  
  
Trish reached out and pulled Harm into a tight hug, minding the bandage on his neck. "Oh Harm we thought-"  
  
"I know Mom, I know."  
  
"What happened, Harm?" Bobbie asked breaking the silence.  
  
Harm looked at the Admiral, whose eyes were popping out of his head. Mac looked just as worse, like she would collapse any second.  
  
"Why don't we all sit down, and I can tell you what happened," he said leading Mac by the elbow to a chair. She grabbed his hand, with her free one, and squeezed it tight before releasing it.  
  
It was Mac who noticed the grimace that crossed Harm's face as he sat down.  
  
"You okay, Harm?"  
  
"I'm fine Mac; nothing a few years of vacation couldn't cure," he said with a touch of humor. Remembering that the SECNAV was present, he got to his story.  
  
"I was wearing a vest when the Admiral shot me. I had promised Mac earlier that day that I would, but at the exact same time that he shot me, a sniper that was on a beam on the ceiling, shot me with a silencer. (A/N: A gun that makes no noise when firing.) I woke up in the ambulance, and they told me that the bullet grazed my neck. (A/N: The blood that was forming around Harm's head.) Having no idea why the Admiral would want me dead, I called Webb and told him what had happened. He-"  
  
"I convinced him that it would be safer if he played dead, so to speak, until we had figured this thing out. He went into hiding, and I had all of the Admiral's lines tapped. We heard the call between you and Hicks, and traced the call."  
  
"He wanted you to kill Mac next papa. He said once he had ruined your career, and took care of the people who put Marcus away, then would kill me."  
  
"So let me get this straight," the SECNAV cut in. He pointed to Harm, "you had no idea that AJ was trying to kill you, and because the Colonel made you promise to wear a vest, you survived, but you got shot in the neck by a sniper at the exact moment that AJ shot you." Not waiting for a response, he looked over at Webb. "And you convinced the hospital staff to fake Rabb's death, and to make it look like AJ killed him?" Then he turned to the Admiral. "And you killed Rabb, without even thinking of another way to resolve this?"  
  
"That's what happened sir," Webb answered.  
  
"So now what happens?" The SECNAV almost yelled.  
  
"Well sir, you really can't charge the Admiral for something he didn't do. "He was only-"  
  
"As you were Rabb; I can speak for myself."  
  
"Maybe we need to discuss this in private Admiral," the SECNAV said, in a tone that was not to be argued with.  
  
"Dismissed," AJ said. While everyone was headed for the door, he called Harm back.  
  
"Rabb, I want to talk to you afterwards."  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
Fade out  
  
As the group all headed over to Harm's office, they knew that the Admiral was getting chewed out bad, but how loud the SECNAV was yelling.  
  
(In Harm's office.)  
  
"We are so glad you are okay, sir." Harriet said while hugging him.  
  
"We all are Harm," Bobbie said.  
  
"I'm sorry I had to put you all through that. When I had made the decision to call Mac and tell her, (A/N: It always has to be Mac that he calls, right?) Webb told me why all this was happening, I decided to wait."  
  
"We are just so glad that you are okay Harm," Trish said while taking his hand.  
  
"It's weird though," Sturgis said.  
  
"What is?"  
  
"That you came in just as the Admiral was about to relieve the Admiral of duty."  
  
Harm gave them all one of his famous flyboy grins. "Well you know me; I always have to make an entrance."  
  
They all smiled for the first time in days. After everyone left so Harm could have some time alone with his mother and step father, Sturgis followed Mac into her office.  
  
"What can I do for you Sturgis?"  
  
"Mac, you remember that subject that I promised you I would never talk about?"  
  
"Yeah, what about it?"  
  
"You know, you almost lost him this time. Next time it could be too late, and he'll never know. And believe me Mac. I know he feels the same way."  
  
"He told you?" Mac almost yelled.  
  
"No. Call it man's intuition. Listen to what I said Mac," and with that he left.  
  
"Yeah, I know. I have to tell him." Mac whispered.  
  
TBC  
  
(A/N: The next chapter will deal with Harm's talk with the Admiral and Harm's talk with Mac. Please review.) 


	8. Like A Son

(A/N: Thanks for all the reviews for this story. What do you guys think, should I do another brain teaser? I liked all the guesses, as strange as some of them were. I hope that you enjoyed this story, and I encourage everyone to keep reading. All of the stories on Fan Fiction are great. Standard disclaimers: Same as in last chapter.)  
  
Fade in  
  
(Taken from Harm's POV)  
  
Thirty minutes after my mother and Stepfather left, and the crowd of co-workers had finally left I sat back in my chair, and let out a long sigh. This had been a long week for me, and it still wasn't over. I knew I still had to talk to Mac, and the Admiral. The SECNAV had left awhile ago, and I knew it would be any minute till the Admiral would summon me.  
  
To say the Admiral was surprised to see that I was alive was a major understatement. His jaw just about broke when it hit the floor. Sure, I understood why the Admiral had shoot me but he could have said whatever he needed to say to me in his office, instead of scheduling a private meeting. I knew that meant trouble. I probably was going to get yelled for not telling anyone that simple little fact that I was alive.  
  
Just then a knock at my door broke me from my reverie. I sighed, and called out for the person to enter. Tiner poked his head in my door.  
  
"Sir, the Admiral would like to see you."  
  
"Thanks Tiner."  
  
When I heard to door click, I stood up, and sighed. Here goes nothing.  
  
(In the Admiral's office)  
  
"Sit down Rabb."  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
There was a long silence before the Admiral finally spoke. I knew enough not to speak yet.  
  
"I didn't know what to do, Harm. I didn't want to put my daughter's life in danger, and you, hell I don't know. You're like a son to me Rabb, but-"  
  
"I understand perfectly sir. You don't have to explain it to me."  
  
"Why didn't you contact me, and let me know you were alive? Did you have any idea what these people were going through?"  
  
"I know sir, and I am truly sorry. By the time I was going to call you, we found out about Hicks, and were ready to get him. There was no time to call anyone sir."  
  
"It must have hurt like hell though."  
  
"Excuse me sir?"  
  
"When I shot you; you might have been wearing a vest, but I know it still hurts."  
  
"A few bruised ribs sir, nothing that bad."  
  
"What about your neck?"  
  
"The bullet just grazed it, sir. A few stitches, was all."  
  
The Admiral pulled a pile of papers out of his desk, and handed them to me.  
  
"What is this sir?"  
  
"It takes a lot of paperwork to bring back a dead man. I want it on my desk by the end of the day, and then take the rest of the week off."  
  
Harm snapped to attention, "aye, aye, sir." When Harm had reached the door, AJ called him back."  
  
"It's good to have you back Harm."  
  
"Thank you sir."  
  
On his way to his office, Harm bumped into Mac.  
  
"Are you okay Harm?"  
  
"Yeah, I just have all this paperwork to keep me occupied for the rest of the month."  
  
"Can I talk to you for a minute?"  
  
"Sure. Give me five minutes, and we can go get something to eat, okay?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Okay Mackenzie, it's only four more minutes and fifty four seconds more, then you can tell him," she told herself while heading for her office.  
  
TBC  
  
(A/N: Please read and review.) 


	9. Letting It All Go

(So sorry it took so long for me to update this. Standard disclaimers: Same as all the rest of the chapters)  
  
I sit nervously at my desk waiting for harm to finish up his paper work. He is already behind, and when I saw Tiner head into his office with a mountain of paper work, I knew he wasn't going to be able to make it. I sighed and put my head in my hands. Why were these things always happening to me? Minutes latter Harm tapped lightly on my door and came in. But before he could say a word I cut him off.  
  
"I know, I know. How about tonight at my place? I'll order us some pizza."  
  
"That's great, say about 1900?"  
  
"I'll see you then."  
  
After he left, I let out a long sigh; I didn't know I was holding in. Since when did Harm make me turn in to a giddy sixteen year old? Probably since I figured out that I was in love with him.  
  
Hours latter and about six cups of coffee, I finally rose from my desk and shoved some papers into my brief case. This could wait for the weekend, but my talk with Harm I knew, couldn't.  
  
It was nineteen 0 five before Harm showed up, looking handsome in a tight black tee shirt, and loose fitting jeans. It took me a moment to get myself together and take the pizza box from his hands.  
  
"You okay Mac?"  
  
"Why do you ask?"  
  
"You just seem kinda quiet tonight."  
  
"I told you I needed to talk."  
  
"So let's talk."  
  
"Not yet, I'm starved."  
  
Harm laughed, "Food before anything else, right Mac?"  
  
"Not before some things," I mumbled.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing, let's just eat."  
  
Twenty minutes latter, the pizza was long gone, and Harm and I were sitting in a comfortable silence when I decided this was time.  
  
"Harm?"  
  
"Yeah, Mac?"  
  
"I need you to do something for me."  
  
"Anything Mac, you know that."  
  
"I need you to listen to me." Getting a confused look from him, I went on. "I need you to listen to me and not say anything until I'm done. Can you do that for me?"  
  
"Sure Mac."  
  
I took a deep breath, and clenched my hands in my lap. It was now or never.  
  
"Harm, when I was told that you had died-I died right there. I don't know why it took me so long to say what I have wanted to tell you, but you made it clear that you weren't ready to let go."  
  
Harm opened his mouth, but closed it again, and sat back in the chair.  
  
"After Mic left me, I don't know why it was you I came to. You-you always were there for me, even when I didn't want you to be. That's when I knew I was in love with you. Not for your boyish charm or your cocky take no prisoners attitude, but for who you are. You are everything to me, even when you hurt me."  
  
I stopped, and tried to define the look on his face. He said nothing as I paused to take a breath. It took me twenty two more minutes to finish my little speech; I held my breath as I waited for him to say something.  
  
(A/N: I know I didn't write out her whole speech, but after hearing it so many times, I find it boring to have to rewrite what everyone already knows.)  
  
He said nothing, but knelt down in front of me and stroked the side of my face.  
  
"Sarah don't think for one minute that my feelings don't match your. During the last few days, being dead, made me do a lot of thinking. If I really did die, there would be so many things left unsaid-so many things I would never get to do. On the ferry Mac, the things I couldn't let go of-Mac everyone I ever let get to close to me-my dad, Diane, Jordan, Renee, my friends- I let them get to close to me, and they end up dieing or hurting me. I don't-didn't want to let anyone in, because I didn't want to get hurt that way again. I built up those walls so thick over the past few years-that no matter how much I wanted to let you in, I just couldn't risk getting hurt liked that again. But after awhile, I figured out that just having you at a friend, wasn't enough. I'm sorry it just took me this long to tell you how much I loved you. How much I have always loved you."  
  
"Oh Harm," I said just before our lips met. It wasn't a fireworks kind of kiss, but a soft tender one, that was a silent promise of things to come. And tonight, that was all I needed.  
  
The End  
  
(Please tell me what you think. Again, I'm so sorry it took me this long to update. I don't plan on doing a sequel, but I might be persuaded to do otherwise.) 


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